On Wednesday, July 20, 1016, I street-preached His Word (King James Version Holy Bible [KJV]) walking down the right opposite side on Kress Street across from the library walking up to Hershe Street where the Lord told me, "You may stop at Hershe Street nearby Calvary Christian Center Church"...
After that, went home, then went out to Wednesday night bible study at church... Good day.
Now onto my "daily rant" going on inside my head:
I get a lot of looks from women, when out in the public view. Most of the time, it's angry, resentful, MEAN-LOOKING snarls and frowns. VERY unattractive in my response to their displays. I absolutely HATE those looks but I don't get all into an "emotional fuss" about it as I'm normally a calm "emotionally-detached" person when dealing with people in social situations.
I hate when women who may be attracted to me look at me with those angry "mean-looking" looks because that's just telling me they don't really "love" or "care about me" as a person to begin with; let alone an actual relationship? Please... lol... the only WOMAN a man knows that would "love him" in life (besides a *good* Christian wife) is almost ALWAYS his own (birth) mother and/or grandmother. Besides those two, there's no "real" actual love" of women towards men. But the opposite is (usually) true: men often show sincere love and concern towards women before women do.
That's why MEN are the LEADERS, PROTECTORS and PROVIDERS of society. The MEN RUN THINGS and keep civilization going. Women are the NUTURERS and CARETAKERS of society's children,the sick and the elderly. Women MAINTAIN and UPKEEP the ESTABLISHMENT of SOCIETY that is ALWAYS ESTABLISHED by the MEN, NOT the women.
Now then, since I don't return the favor to these "mean-looking" "stuck up" young women of my peer age group by "looking all mean and angry" as an emotionally immature person, my face and visage usually looks calm, chill, cool and open in a default normal, neutral facial expression. I look APPROACHABLE. I look FRIENDLY (most of the time I hope, lol. I do try to be a "friendly good person" on purpose. The only time I'm really looking angry or upset is if I'm going through some serious "personal drama" with family and/or "friends". I'm no "menace to society". :P).
I read, understand and know people's hidden emotions and feelings VERY WELL. I'm very empathetic. I suppose that's why I also have the "spiritual gift" of "DISCERNMENT OF SPIRITS"; I can tell who's about something "good" or if someone is coming out of a "bad place" of BAD MOTIVES... Oh yeah... Also...
That's a good life lesson fellow young people: if the person of the opposite sex who looks at you with angry-looking mean eyes in hopes to be with you; you already know that's NOT LOVE but IMMATURE, SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED, SELF-SERVING INFATUATION and/or ATTRACTION but it's certainly NOT LOVE to begin with lol. I've experienced this TOO FAR ENOUGH in my own personal life to be sure on this one at least.
Whatever anyone wants to call it (I know better) it's NOT "PURE" emotion out of a "good place" it's a personal AGENDA from the PROJECTOR...
If someone is "REALLY ABOUT LOVE", people will know because we live in an "unlovable world".
Look at this mess, I got it in my email from some "secret admirer" lol. More like a SECRET DEVIL trying to MESS ME UP! Amen!
Here below:
Also, I also hate when women (who are trying to "flirt with me" since I'm not flirting with them or even caring to anyway) flirt with me when THEY ARE ALREADY WITH THEIR BOYFRIED AND/OR HUSBAND to begin with... I don't entertain them. It's not for my own good. Very WICKED, EVIL, selfish, discourteous tricky ground THEY are MAKING ME HAVE TO MANUEVER (they are already telling me they don't care for me as a HUMAN-BEING to begin with anyway in the same way I would care towards someone; but just trying to USE ME for THEIR BENEFIT!) so I don't unintentionally incidentally get into a misunderstanding potential angry altercation with their boyfriend and/or husband since I have nothing to do with these people! Just a random stranger in the crowd passing through life, but then these sleazy, lowdown women try to snare me like a tare into their "messes". Really HATE that drama. That already checks the women off my list if I was to even want to consider them as a "possible relationship" lol. To get into a fight with some random guy who's already with this woman and he's thinking I'm trying to steal his girl and I don't even want to be with his woman but she's COMING ON TO ME and MAKING ME LOOK BAD when I'm IN THE RIGHT and SHE IS IN THE WRONG since I'm not flirting and trying to be with women in relationships, ESPECIALLY MARRIED WOMEN! Really HATE the social flack and crap I have to deal with on a daily people because of other people's IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY!
(Married) men reading this: I'm NOT after anyone's woman; let alone a MARRIED WOMAN gents and people. I'm not after your woman, I'm on your side. If I was to go for some woman that piqued my interest she would already be EXCLUSIVELY single as well to begin with. And I hate dealing with liars.
Don't even look at me you single mothers with kids out of wedlock; I'm not the father of your children; so please do NOT "push your mess" unto me.
Rather, be MARRIED and try to make a life with the man YOU CHOSE TO SLEEP WITH and quit bringing everyone else into YOUR OWN MESS because of YOUR OWN BAD CHOICES.
I love you in Christ as I LOVE everyone as all Christians should. And ALL PEOPLE should ideally LOVE EVERYONE as well; but I'm not going to "cut you some slack" for you pushing on your responsibilities to everyone else but YOURSELF.
I have my own responsibilities.
As an ADULT you DEAL WITH YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES as well. If the father of your children is still alive and living he has a responsibility; a DUTY to take care of his children and the mother of his children. So if he means to do well and you're "blocking his entrance" that's then ON YOU and NOT HIM. If the father of your (bastard) children is a "dead-beat dad" you give him over to the LORD in PRAYER and let GOD rebuke and deal with him; but other than the father of your children being in the wrong if the father of your children is actually meaning to do the "right thing" and your willingly and wrongfully "fight against" him; YOU ARE THE ONE AT FAULT. Not him.
Any good, decent man wants to take care of his own flesh 'n blood children and his family.
Really hate people's "false pretenses"; makes me more MAD and ANGRY than anything else; when society makes me LOOK LIKE THE BAD, IGNORANT YOUNG THUG N*GGA when it's anything else. If ONLY they were in MY SHOES they would know I'm speaking TRUTH! Amen!
Anyways, there was this one time in the library here in Denver Harbor this young Hispanic couple, perhaps boyfriend and girlfriend show up as I'm working ministering online and getting a few tasks done and so this young Hispanic woman is over there "exchanging me glances" like she's trying to flirt with me, but she realizes I'm not "playing into her little 'flirty' game".
I won't "talk down" on the young man (since I don't do people like that, and he's older than me I think) she was with but from her unashamed, blatant "flirting" in my direction I could tell right away either she was dissatisfied with this man and was willing to "trade up" or pass on" to someone else if he found a "better deal" that would reciprocate her signals. I don't play nobody else's b.s but MINE and CHRIST'S. Amen!
So, so, this woman, after a brief, angsty realization I wasn't gonna "play along" or act like I wanted to make a "move to her" because I didn't. Besides, I've seen better... I know quality when I see it. I don't want this mess. I don't want you.
Anyways, this woman and her boyfriend (looking more like that's the case), go on and use the copier machine as I sense and keep tabs on them in my peripheral vision as I work on the computer and then eventually the young woman "splits" apart from the young Hispanic man and walks away behind me on the opposite side of the table I'm sitting at while the seemingly oblivious young Hispanic man walks on the other side of the table where I'm facing "splitting them apart" before they "come back together".
Really? Hmmm... Really was the woman's discontent and unashamed, wicked behaviour to try to "get on with someone else" while already in a relationship... Wow... Really feel sorry for the MAN NOT the woman in this case, 'cause it was so blatantly obvious to me what she was doing. Hopefully the older young man, if he realizes and it's not a "married couple" move on since it's quite obvious to me the woman she was with was losing attraction towards him... Really HATE that feeling but it's there for those who don't ignore the reality.
Such was the case with Joseph and Potiphar's wife trying to "get with him". Get this: a MARRIED WOMAN after a slave man lol. What she want with a "slave"? Not like she gonna "free him" or help him out or anything. Rather, WHAT CAN I GET FROM HIM?
Potiphar's wife didn't know anything about the young man Joseph other than he was her husband's servant. Hmmm... Joseph must have been an attractive or at least a decent, good-looking guy enough for Potiphar's wife to even consider a potential "fling" with. Even all of Joseph's brethren were all jealous and/or envious against him, although Joseph unwisely and untactfully spoke too presumptuously against his older brothers to be on "good terms" with them from their perspective; since Joseph had those dreams from God that he would be "blessed" even though he did not fully and clearly understand his calling from God. Even his father Jacob (Israel) had to tell Joseph to "tone down his antics" amongst his brethren...
Anyways, my point is, Potiphar's wife never really "loved" or "cared about" Joseph as a "person" to begin with. It was ALL ABOUT HER. Joseph was just pure "eye candy" in her eyes (like how many woefully deceived sex-obsessed guys sexually-objectify and demean physically attractive young women on a [vagina] pedestal.). Just to be used as an opportunity of pleasure and a power display" and then to be "discarded" if her husband Potiphar had found out Joseph and her had an affair. lol It's not like she would have ever even tried to "defend Joseph" in that situation (given she was the pursuer); she would of did the wise decision for her own good to FRAME IT ALL ON JOSEPH to save her own skin. I know this because if I was her, and I didn't fear, know or respect God like I do, it would be the logical, smartest, best choice I could make to save my own skin and safeguard my husband's trust. Why not?
If Joseph had ignorantly and stupidly played along with Potiphar's wifey's little game, he would have been the dumb fool of it all with his head cut of (or hung; give or take; however they were gonna kill him); NOT Potiphar's wife; she knew what she was playing (as a serpent...).
Good thing Joseph was a smart and honourable man of God who did the RIGHT THING in NOT SLEEPING with another man's wife. Good deal. He OBEYED GOD. He AVOIDED a worse fate (e.g. "death") than being thrown down into a dungeon prison for a season.
I'm like my elder brother Joseph of time's past in many ways: we do the RIGHT THING. Amen.
Anyways, I also notice this other "look" I get from women; in particular the OLDER WOMEN old enough to be my own mother and/or grandmother(s) lol...
It's like this folks: I could be somewhere like in a grocery store or place like the Dollar Tree or Fiesta and walking around to pick up a few items when all of a sudden I might give courteous eye contact with the people I may notice around me (that way they don't feel like I'm "ignoring their existence" like they don't matter) and so, sometimes an older black lady, around age enough to be my mother and/or grandmother appears and I look at her and she keeps prolonged eye contact as "longing"...
The eye contact of these elder (black) women (married or unmarried I do not know) is kind of like a "longing" "regretful stare" of past regret. It's kind of reminiscent *LOOK* of when I'm walking around town and I see a "stray dog" abandoned and rejected by it's owner *LONGING* and looking at you when you pass by in hopes that you will "take in" them, because they have "messed up" with their owner and have been abandoned and forsaken by everyone. I know and sense that feeling...
Like they looking at me as a young, handsome black man they could have married in their time back in their youthful days, *LONGING* for me to acknowledge such... Unless these elder women are looking at me as someone who "reminds them of their son" or something like that, I'm pretty much absolutely positive they look at me as though they "wanted to be with me" or someone like me in their youthful days. Kind of like they may have "screwed up" in their youthful days running around with wild, cool "bad boy" men of their age in the "excitement of young life" instead of seriously thinking and considering settling down with a good, smart young man to the contrary of their own girlfriend peers who are perhaps still married all those years since and/or had unfortunate destroyed marriages and divorces...
All the "dark ugly truths" aside, I don't like it, but I notice it, when it's PROJECTED ON ME. I'm not usually the one being the "projector" as I stand "neutral" in dealing with people socially. Regardless, as unsavory as the true, dark hidden intentions and motives of people are, male and female, I've learned not to "entertain the notions" when they appear.
That's something we all gotta do, to "get along" with people throughout life. Amen.
Well, all that aside, at the end of the day and throughout the day I be PRAYING FOR THE PEOPLE I see going through all kinds of personal problems, challenges and/or hardships.
Just like the time I helped an elder white woman and sister in Christ I'll call elder sister "M(r)s. J." in Mount Vernon, Washington who fell out on the ground by a Valero gas station and people drove by in their cars and did not come to her aid. I was homeless at the time and as the Lord urged it on my heart to go help her, a young white woman and someone else I think pulled up in their trucks to see after her well-being, even though they king of "checked up" or her no one else but ME at that time, actually helped take her up to her house, after having put the beer cans she bought back into her brown paper bag to take home with her.
Long story short, she has an "alcohol problem" and while I won't go into all her personal business (since I really don't like to tell people's business) she had some heart problems mostly likely because of the drinking and she bought the drinks she should not have been drinking...
So, I take her up to her house, guiding her along as we both walk together and helped her clean up her house a bit and all that.
Yada, yada, we talk about our lives and such and then she all's like that and I'm getting ready to go and the neighbors' are not so "welcoming" I give her a friendly, loving smooch on the check as she was about to steal some "mouth-to-mouth" sugar from me lol.
Yeah, wow, many stories, God-willing can't tell them all here but "stuff has happened". Amen!
What's really sad was how deplorable society had become that someone could fall out on the sidewalk or middle of the street and people would coldly and callously move on from helping someone in need... Really is a LOW POINT in how wicked, evil and INDIFFERENT western society has become.
What I did was nothing to "glory about"; it was simply doing the RIGHT THING because it's THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Everyone should have been willing to do the right thing by default; but not many did...
I thank God He KNOWS MY HEART that deep down, through own personal failures, flaws and shortcoming HE KNOWS if I put my "pride aside" and my "wrath" anger and "resentment" away (justified or not), GOD KNOWS I'M WILLING TO DO THE RIGHT THING regardless of what the people around me choose to do. GLORY be to GOD. Amen.
Yeah, I got my own problems, challenges and/or hardships to deal with so I don't really feel like being bothered with someone else's mess.
May the Lord Jesus Christ grant us all the Love and Wisdom to DO WHAT'S RIGHT regardless of our FLESHLY, VAIN IMPULSES. Amen!
~ Sincerely,
Bro. Jed
After that, went home, then went out to Wednesday night bible study at church... Good day.
Now onto my "daily rant" going on inside my head:
I get a lot of looks from women, when out in the public view. Most of the time, it's angry, resentful, MEAN-LOOKING snarls and frowns. VERY unattractive in my response to their displays. I absolutely HATE those looks but I don't get all into an "emotional fuss" about it as I'm normally a calm "emotionally-detached" person when dealing with people in social situations.
I hate when women who may be attracted to me look at me with those angry "mean-looking" looks because that's just telling me they don't really "love" or "care about me" as a person to begin with; let alone an actual relationship? Please... lol... the only WOMAN a man knows that would "love him" in life (besides a *good* Christian wife) is almost ALWAYS his own (birth) mother and/or grandmother. Besides those two, there's no "real" actual love" of women towards men. But the opposite is (usually) true: men often show sincere love and concern towards women before women do.
That's why MEN are the LEADERS, PROTECTORS and PROVIDERS of society. The MEN RUN THINGS and keep civilization going. Women are the NUTURERS and CARETAKERS of society's children,the sick and the elderly. Women MAINTAIN and UPKEEP the ESTABLISHMENT of SOCIETY that is ALWAYS ESTABLISHED by the MEN, NOT the women.
Now then, since I don't return the favor to these "mean-looking" "stuck up" young women of my peer age group by "looking all mean and angry" as an emotionally immature person, my face and visage usually looks calm, chill, cool and open in a default normal, neutral facial expression. I look APPROACHABLE. I look FRIENDLY (most of the time I hope, lol. I do try to be a "friendly good person" on purpose. The only time I'm really looking angry or upset is if I'm going through some serious "personal drama" with family and/or "friends". I'm no "menace to society". :P).
I read, understand and know people's hidden emotions and feelings VERY WELL. I'm very empathetic. I suppose that's why I also have the "spiritual gift" of "DISCERNMENT OF SPIRITS"; I can tell who's about something "good" or if someone is coming out of a "bad place" of BAD MOTIVES... Oh yeah... Also...
That's a good life lesson fellow young people: if the person of the opposite sex who looks at you with angry-looking mean eyes in hopes to be with you; you already know that's NOT LOVE but IMMATURE, SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED, SELF-SERVING INFATUATION and/or ATTRACTION but it's certainly NOT LOVE to begin with lol. I've experienced this TOO FAR ENOUGH in my own personal life to be sure on this one at least.
Whatever anyone wants to call it (I know better) it's NOT "PURE" emotion out of a "good place" it's a personal AGENDA from the PROJECTOR...
If someone is "REALLY ABOUT LOVE", people will know because we live in an "unlovable world".
Look at this mess, I got it in my email from some "secret admirer" lol. More like a SECRET DEVIL trying to MESS ME UP! Amen!
Here below:
Hey... ok this is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was.Yeah, all this spam crap mess... I don't buy it. If you're a young man reading this, and get this kind of messages in your personal email, block, report and DELETE this trash where it belongs: TRASH!
To help you guess who I am I made a few pictures and videos with your name written on my body. They're kind of risque photos so I had to make a profile at Sex Voyager [Click to open external URL] and post them there. My username in the members area is "HereWeGo2016" (It's a free website but they use debit or credit card to verify your age. I had to do it too... Annoying but whatever.)
But anyway sign up at Sex Voyager [Click to open external URL] and once you are inside search for "HereWeGo2016". I want you to guess who I am and then approach me yourself. I'm shy and this is the bravest thing I've probably ever done, but you need to do the rest.
Kisses,
Secret Admirer?
haha. Bye
Also, I also hate when women (who are trying to "flirt with me" since I'm not flirting with them or even caring to anyway) flirt with me when THEY ARE ALREADY WITH THEIR BOYFRIED AND/OR HUSBAND to begin with... I don't entertain them. It's not for my own good. Very WICKED, EVIL, selfish, discourteous tricky ground THEY are MAKING ME HAVE TO MANUEVER (they are already telling me they don't care for me as a HUMAN-BEING to begin with anyway in the same way I would care towards someone; but just trying to USE ME for THEIR BENEFIT!) so I don't unintentionally incidentally get into a misunderstanding potential angry altercation with their boyfriend and/or husband since I have nothing to do with these people! Just a random stranger in the crowd passing through life, but then these sleazy, lowdown women try to snare me like a tare into their "messes". Really HATE that drama. That already checks the women off my list if I was to even want to consider them as a "possible relationship" lol. To get into a fight with some random guy who's already with this woman and he's thinking I'm trying to steal his girl and I don't even want to be with his woman but she's COMING ON TO ME and MAKING ME LOOK BAD when I'm IN THE RIGHT and SHE IS IN THE WRONG since I'm not flirting and trying to be with women in relationships, ESPECIALLY MARRIED WOMEN! Really HATE the social flack and crap I have to deal with on a daily people because of other people's IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY!
(Married) men reading this: I'm NOT after anyone's woman; let alone a MARRIED WOMAN gents and people. I'm not after your woman, I'm on your side. If I was to go for some woman that piqued my interest she would already be EXCLUSIVELY single as well to begin with. And I hate dealing with liars.
Don't even look at me you single mothers with kids out of wedlock; I'm not the father of your children; so please do NOT "push your mess" unto me.
Rather, be MARRIED and try to make a life with the man YOU CHOSE TO SLEEP WITH and quit bringing everyone else into YOUR OWN MESS because of YOUR OWN BAD CHOICES.
I love you in Christ as I LOVE everyone as all Christians should. And ALL PEOPLE should ideally LOVE EVERYONE as well; but I'm not going to "cut you some slack" for you pushing on your responsibilities to everyone else but YOURSELF.
I have my own responsibilities.
As an ADULT you DEAL WITH YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES as well. If the father of your children is still alive and living he has a responsibility; a DUTY to take care of his children and the mother of his children. So if he means to do well and you're "blocking his entrance" that's then ON YOU and NOT HIM. If the father of your (bastard) children is a "dead-beat dad" you give him over to the LORD in PRAYER and let GOD rebuke and deal with him; but other than the father of your children being in the wrong if the father of your children is actually meaning to do the "right thing" and your willingly and wrongfully "fight against" him; YOU ARE THE ONE AT FAULT. Not him.
Any good, decent man wants to take care of his own flesh 'n blood children and his family.
Really hate people's "false pretenses"; makes me more MAD and ANGRY than anything else; when society makes me LOOK LIKE THE BAD, IGNORANT YOUNG THUG N*GGA when it's anything else. If ONLY they were in MY SHOES they would know I'm speaking TRUTH! Amen!
Anyways, there was this one time in the library here in Denver Harbor this young Hispanic couple, perhaps boyfriend and girlfriend show up as I'm working ministering online and getting a few tasks done and so this young Hispanic woman is over there "exchanging me glances" like she's trying to flirt with me, but she realizes I'm not "playing into her little 'flirty' game".
I won't "talk down" on the young man (since I don't do people like that, and he's older than me I think) she was with but from her unashamed, blatant "flirting" in my direction I could tell right away either she was dissatisfied with this man and was willing to "trade up" or pass on" to someone else if he found a "better deal" that would reciprocate her signals. I don't play nobody else's b.s but MINE and CHRIST'S. Amen!
So, so, this woman, after a brief, angsty realization I wasn't gonna "play along" or act like I wanted to make a "move to her" because I didn't. Besides, I've seen better... I know quality when I see it. I don't want this mess. I don't want you.
Anyways, this woman and her boyfriend (looking more like that's the case), go on and use the copier machine as I sense and keep tabs on them in my peripheral vision as I work on the computer and then eventually the young woman "splits" apart from the young Hispanic man and walks away behind me on the opposite side of the table I'm sitting at while the seemingly oblivious young Hispanic man walks on the other side of the table where I'm facing "splitting them apart" before they "come back together".
Really? Hmmm... Really was the woman's discontent and unashamed, wicked behaviour to try to "get on with someone else" while already in a relationship... Wow... Really feel sorry for the MAN NOT the woman in this case, 'cause it was so blatantly obvious to me what she was doing. Hopefully the older young man, if he realizes and it's not a "married couple" move on since it's quite obvious to me the woman she was with was losing attraction towards him... Really HATE that feeling but it's there for those who don't ignore the reality.
Such was the case with Joseph and Potiphar's wife trying to "get with him". Get this: a MARRIED WOMAN after a slave man lol. What she want with a "slave"? Not like she gonna "free him" or help him out or anything. Rather, WHAT CAN I GET FROM HIM?
Potiphar's wife didn't know anything about the young man Joseph other than he was her husband's servant. Hmmm... Joseph must have been an attractive or at least a decent, good-looking guy enough for Potiphar's wife to even consider a potential "fling" with. Even all of Joseph's brethren were all jealous and/or envious against him, although Joseph unwisely and untactfully spoke too presumptuously against his older brothers to be on "good terms" with them from their perspective; since Joseph had those dreams from God that he would be "blessed" even though he did not fully and clearly understand his calling from God. Even his father Jacob (Israel) had to tell Joseph to "tone down his antics" amongst his brethren...
Anyways, my point is, Potiphar's wife never really "loved" or "cared about" Joseph as a "person" to begin with. It was ALL ABOUT HER. Joseph was just pure "eye candy" in her eyes (like how many woefully deceived sex-obsessed guys sexually-objectify and demean physically attractive young women on a [vagina] pedestal.). Just to be used as an opportunity of pleasure and a power display" and then to be "discarded" if her husband Potiphar had found out Joseph and her had an affair. lol It's not like she would have ever even tried to "defend Joseph" in that situation (given she was the pursuer); she would of did the wise decision for her own good to FRAME IT ALL ON JOSEPH to save her own skin. I know this because if I was her, and I didn't fear, know or respect God like I do, it would be the logical, smartest, best choice I could make to save my own skin and safeguard my husband's trust. Why not?
If Joseph had ignorantly and stupidly played along with Potiphar's wifey's little game, he would have been the dumb fool of it all with his head cut of (or hung; give or take; however they were gonna kill him); NOT Potiphar's wife; she knew what she was playing (as a serpent...).
Good thing Joseph was a smart and honourable man of God who did the RIGHT THING in NOT SLEEPING with another man's wife. Good deal. He OBEYED GOD. He AVOIDED a worse fate (e.g. "death") than being thrown down into a dungeon prison for a season.
I'm like my elder brother Joseph of time's past in many ways: we do the RIGHT THING. Amen.
Anyways, I also notice this other "look" I get from women; in particular the OLDER WOMEN old enough to be my own mother and/or grandmother(s) lol...
It's like this folks: I could be somewhere like in a grocery store or place like the Dollar Tree or Fiesta and walking around to pick up a few items when all of a sudden I might give courteous eye contact with the people I may notice around me (that way they don't feel like I'm "ignoring their existence" like they don't matter) and so, sometimes an older black lady, around age enough to be my mother and/or grandmother appears and I look at her and she keeps prolonged eye contact as "longing"...
The eye contact of these elder (black) women (married or unmarried I do not know) is kind of like a "longing" "regretful stare" of past regret. It's kind of reminiscent *LOOK* of when I'm walking around town and I see a "stray dog" abandoned and rejected by it's owner *LONGING* and looking at you when you pass by in hopes that you will "take in" them, because they have "messed up" with their owner and have been abandoned and forsaken by everyone. I know and sense that feeling...
Like they looking at me as a young, handsome black man they could have married in their time back in their youthful days, *LONGING* for me to acknowledge such... Unless these elder women are looking at me as someone who "reminds them of their son" or something like that, I'm pretty much absolutely positive they look at me as though they "wanted to be with me" or someone like me in their youthful days. Kind of like they may have "screwed up" in their youthful days running around with wild, cool "bad boy" men of their age in the "excitement of young life" instead of seriously thinking and considering settling down with a good, smart young man to the contrary of their own girlfriend peers who are perhaps still married all those years since and/or had unfortunate destroyed marriages and divorces...
All the "dark ugly truths" aside, I don't like it, but I notice it, when it's PROJECTED ON ME. I'm not usually the one being the "projector" as I stand "neutral" in dealing with people socially. Regardless, as unsavory as the true, dark hidden intentions and motives of people are, male and female, I've learned not to "entertain the notions" when they appear.
That's something we all gotta do, to "get along" with people throughout life. Amen.
Well, all that aside, at the end of the day and throughout the day I be PRAYING FOR THE PEOPLE I see going through all kinds of personal problems, challenges and/or hardships.
Just like the time I helped an elder white woman and sister in Christ I'll call elder sister "M(r)s. J." in Mount Vernon, Washington who fell out on the ground by a Valero gas station and people drove by in their cars and did not come to her aid. I was homeless at the time and as the Lord urged it on my heart to go help her, a young white woman and someone else I think pulled up in their trucks to see after her well-being, even though they king of "checked up" or her no one else but ME at that time, actually helped take her up to her house, after having put the beer cans she bought back into her brown paper bag to take home with her.
Long story short, she has an "alcohol problem" and while I won't go into all her personal business (since I really don't like to tell people's business) she had some heart problems mostly likely because of the drinking and she bought the drinks she should not have been drinking...
So, I take her up to her house, guiding her along as we both walk together and helped her clean up her house a bit and all that.
Yada, yada, we talk about our lives and such and then she all's like that and I'm getting ready to go and the neighbors' are not so "welcoming" I give her a friendly, loving smooch on the check as she was about to steal some "mouth-to-mouth" sugar from me lol.
Yeah, wow, many stories, God-willing can't tell them all here but "stuff has happened". Amen!
What's really sad was how deplorable society had become that someone could fall out on the sidewalk or middle of the street and people would coldly and callously move on from helping someone in need... Really is a LOW POINT in how wicked, evil and INDIFFERENT western society has become.
What I did was nothing to "glory about"; it was simply doing the RIGHT THING because it's THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Everyone should have been willing to do the right thing by default; but not many did...
I thank God He KNOWS MY HEART that deep down, through own personal failures, flaws and shortcoming HE KNOWS if I put my "pride aside" and my "wrath" anger and "resentment" away (justified or not), GOD KNOWS I'M WILLING TO DO THE RIGHT THING regardless of what the people around me choose to do. GLORY be to GOD. Amen.
Yeah, I got my own problems, challenges and/or hardships to deal with so I don't really feel like being bothered with someone else's mess.
May the Lord Jesus Christ grant us all the Love and Wisdom to DO WHAT'S RIGHT regardless of our FLESHLY, VAIN IMPULSES. Amen!
~ Sincerely,
Bro. Jed
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